Resuming activity

I did it again. I disappeared.
The thing is, online interaction exhausts me, I feel so much more comfortable with “real life”. So when I’m especially busy or stressed out, I shut the Internet off because it DOES NOT help me relax. I only use it to gather information and listen to epic videogame soundtracks and summery latino compilations on Youtube while I work my ass off.
So, what happened this time?

Artbook cover of Antika - the City in the Clouds

The damn sci-fi/fantasy concept artbook I've been "commissioned" by my academy, that’s what :D 
A project well worth investing my time in, but. Despite my teachers’ best intentions, I was tasked with doing something overwhelming and I needed more supervision and feedback. That ultimately destroyed any plan I had for my post-Los Angeles (working) life. I wanted to apply for a studio job, but I could never finish the artbook in time if I actually got a job like that. I wanted to start personal projects. I wanted a website. I got some nice freelance work offers though, and I’m glad I let THAT steal some time away from the artbook project. In the end it all worked out fine – which is more than I was hoping for!
Recap ends here. On my other galleries, a storm of fantasy/sci-fi stuff is on its way.

Collecting dust

I have two neat Strathmore toned gray sketchbooks. They're collecting dust because...
Just because...?
Because I'm a wimp and I'm terrified of a brand new sketchbook that needs to be approached differently from what I'm used to do with my common white paper.
One day I felt especially daring and I decided to violate mr. Gray.

So a few weeks ago I found a nice reference photo in my folder (a very stereotypically handsome guy wearing make up - I was actually more interested in the lighting and the sharp cast shadows). My previous attempts at using charcoal were miserable, but here I realized what I was doing wrong.
I was holding and using the charcoal as if it were a pencil! Nice and tidy and precise.
Then I remembered something Shaddy Safadi said during one of his digital painting tutorial videos:

"Be bold!". Be bold with your strokes.
I dislike quoting people, and while the painting process was definitely interesting, I didn't agree with a bunch of things Shaddy said. But his explanation of what being bold means resonated with me.The moment I tried to hold the charcoal stick differently, the moment I said to myself "well who cares if this gets really rough and messy!" and meant it, a lot has changed.

I had fun!
I actually relaxed and enjoyed this new medium, how it can be rough and pasty, but also so soft. It allows me to shade in a way that feels so much more comfortable and natural and fast than pencil shading. I don't care if the outcome is any good. It is a big improvement since last time and I was so happy while I did it. 

So, what have we learned?
- BE. BOLD.
- I had fun dammit, this is a huge step forward!
- This took very little time. Not even one hour. No excuses: I can actually make one portrait like this every weekend almost without sacrificing time. One hour is nothing to an organized person. Which I'm trying to become.
- I AM capable of shutting my brain off. I can be bold and have fun without paranoias. It usually happens at random times, but it's a matter of time before I learn to control and re-create this state of mind.
- I can't flip the page (or use the skecthbook for that matter) until I buy a fixative because charcoal is going to smudge and get every fucking where on the back of the next page :D
- Hence the bad photo. I can't put this thing into a scanner.

Rediscovering

One step at a time!
I'll reconquer what I've lost. I'll tear away the inhibitions and embrace what I really love to draw.
But wishing won't make it happen, so I'm going to start a new sketchbook, which will be entirely devoted to free sketching. No intentional focus on improvement, no "pretty" refined stuff meant to be shown around without shame.

My secret letter to the embarrassing lover I never wanted my parents to meet; I'll have to pick up correspondence again if I ever hope to become comfortable with it.

I know I'm still able to slip into that who-cares state of mind.
Here's some stuff I did before summer. Quick thumbnails for an artbook cover.
I needed a predator to confront the human, or something symbolic, as helpless prey. I wanted it big, reptilian, fearsome, but I looked for "something else" at first because it would probably end up looking like a dragon. And dragons are mainstream, right? Sinful!
Still. I went ahead.

I enjoyed doing these. Oh so much. It was liberating. Quick and careless. It was the kind of subject I wanted on my cover.
That's what I'm after!

Ten minutes exploration of thumb n.2 for a more snowy feel. Pretty bad, but I didn't think of it at the time. Just exploring and having fun with cyan, magenta, big fearsome monster and ice. My favorite.

Further exploration of thumbnail 4. I was thinking of something graphic, with a plain white backgorund, but ended up painting the background as I realized the sky would have helped a ton in creating a definite mood. 

Park test

On to the equipment!
I sat down and did a quick study of my backpack and bag. Might as well practice at drawing inanimate objects, which I've been ignoring for most of my life. It shows.

My cellphone was in my pocket and my money & documents were tucked away in my bag: they were virtually weightless and I didn't count them in the overall weight.
Both pieces were very small and light and I could barely feel the pack on my shoulders. Splitting the weight was a good move, especially if I can avoid having it all on one shoulder. My spine thanks me kindly.
Finding stuff was not confusing because everything I needed to use often was in my shoulder bag.
Although. The ideal condition would be dumping the unnecessary and only have one bag with me.
A waist bag would be perfect, too bad I don't have one big enough.
Until then, we'll see how I can refine my packing strategies so that my back doesn't get hurt and the stuff I need is ready to be plucked out of the bag at any moment - which is not going to happen if I'm only carrying a backpack.

Anyway, I sat down again and tried to paint the meadow and ruins in front of me. I know I have a problem with large, deep fields of a single color. I struggle with depth.

Yay. Just one week before I'm finally able to replace my old scanner

I had a hard time beginning this because I couldn't place the objects correctly. I needed to frame the scene with my hands and then my camera to see it more clearly! Sheesh.
There was a hint of blue sky, but my scanner is flipping the bird at me and some color and detail got lost. I have a couple ideas to make this thing better next time:

- I should choose a place where foreground, middleground and background are more evident. I feel the need for a foreground to frame the image
- Perhaps a path in the grass, going off to the background, could help communicate better perspective and depth?
- I'll use a dry brush (or I'll use the brush sideways) to get a more randomic, leafy shape for the trees

There were lots of huge colonies of those cute red "little devils", as we call them. I noticed there was a more slender, "tattooed" type and a fatty variant with less black markings. I thought it was because of gender (especially funny considering the rounder variant has some kind of bikini top marking!), but turns out the fully tattooed ones are adults, while the others are not fully developed.

Firebugs. Firebugs everywhere.
And this was the smallest patch I could find.

I didn't do much more. I had a fast walk, some stretching and a good book. The bag and backpack never felt heavy, so I guess I can go ahead and try a proper field trip.
I noticed I didn't feel comfortable using the gray sketchbook for landscape sketching, and I might as well bring less pencils with me anyway. I should be able to reduce the weight if I focus on watercolor only, and I prefer copics to pencils for gesture drawing and tonal sketches.
That's all for today!

Park test - intro

Last week I decided to pay a visit to our local zoo for a whole day of sketching and painting from life. Sounded like a good plan until the weather got a tad depressing, so I decided to test my life drawing equipment in the park I live in.
I sure don't want to find myself carrying too much weight on a day long trip!

A couple shots of the "Parco degli Acquedotti" - winter and summer.
Snow is actually very rare in Rome. Oh how I love snow.

Sorry! I'm not a photographer.
Nor am I interested to be one, although it could benefit my composition skills; I take photos for personal reference, so I can study my subjects and render my stuff after I had to abandon my choice landscape/person/lizard in real life.

I'm well aware that I tend to drag around a lot of "useless" stuff. Like my external hard disk: I'm not leaving my laptop alone in a room if I don't have the hdd on me. Or the few pieces of jewelry I hold dear. Or my nds cartridges. Or my fat wallet, packed full of 1-2 cent coins. Or skecthbooks I won't be preferring over the smaller ones.
So my quest for that day was basically this: test a distibution of weight and choice of items - in search of a solution that allows me to paint publicly, comfortably, for a whole day without breaking my back.

The pencil case. The damn pencils case. 

...I need a comfy pencil case that isn't embarrassing

My poor watercolors weren't treated well in their early days. I'll learn.

This is still a QUEST blog, after all

I have a new purpose for this blog, since the original "draw and analyze daily" is now achieved.
There's something very powerful I discovered, and I'm teaching myself to control it: habit.

:

You'd think this is related to the post. It's not. It's actually a bad, quick custom brush test.

You're welcome.

GOAL 1:
Rediscover what I'm actually passionate about. Which subjects I'm actually interested in. Draw them because my personal art should be personal and free.
Status: I'm horribly influenced in my choice of subjects by what is mainstream (avoid at all costs!) and what is unpopular to the masses (I'll be ignored!). For so much time I failed to realize it's impossibile to feel the drive to draw for myself, if I'm incapable of focusing on what I like to draw.
I'm so wrapped up in this "but all I produce must be appetible because I have to make a name for myself!!" state of mind, that I literally can't understand what I love and what is induced by external pressure anymore.

GOAL 2:
Pick up some healthy habits and report results here:
- Make some physical exercise everyday. I live on the edge of a huge park, I have an exercise bike in my bedroom and my mom is a physiotherapist. I defintely have what I need
- Go to sleep at 12:00 am and set alarm clock at 9:00
- Stretch and make posture exercises everyday for my back and muscles
Status: I've been travelling every week this summer, but during a 10 days stay at home I've already started an experiment. It went great: I could manage all of this, although starting gradually, and be productive with art and meet with friends too. Now I just need to regain my routine.
I'm a very dynamic person and I love sports, so this isn't a huge sacrifice; I'm actually only worried about time management. I'll make adjustments if needed.

Plein air

Lack of motivation hits hard, but I've got to the core of the problem.
I'm setting two new goals for myself, and boy do I need to achieve them for my own well-being.
I'll talk about it later - now have some watercolor stuff I painted on the spot.

Prunus log. My grandma's garden in the countryside is always my favorite place to be when I need a break from technology.

Still flat, but I feel I'm improving in rendering volumes and textures in watercolors.

A red house I could see from the balcony at my grandmother's house. A sudden storm drove me away sooner than I hoped. I struggle with trees A LOT. I'm so inexperienced at drawing buildings, but I'm starting to put more time and effort into the sketching phase. I really can't afford to paint directly with such an alien subject.

A sleepy old man I sketched on the train and painted later while relaxing in Verona with my boyfriend. Lovely trip if somewhat short!

This was painted on bad generic sketchbook paper so yeah, the texture sucks and the colors look so dead. Watercolor paper is so expensive